current time - 10:53

at this very moment, i feel a strange feeling, coming from everywhere in all directions. i've been thinking about some things for the past few days, and have finally made up my mind? i guess so. hope this decision would make you happy..i was very confused days ago..lots of questions, but no answers..i know i have to answer them myself..i just find myself a loser =)

current time - 10:58

i type slow..gotta think of things to say before i type of course..yeah..a loser..definately. always forcing the other party to accept things or agree with me. i honestly dont think that it's nice..how i wish im more gentle? some things just cant be changed. yeah. but without even trying who the hell would know the results?

current time - 11:02

you kept telling me not to wait. i know somehow, you just feel that im a nuisance..but seriously im not waiting to stead with you. im waiting for the chance to let me say my thoughts. i truthfully think that we wont be together..but so what? that doesnt mean that i cant be with you to make you feel special..as long as im alive, you wont be alone. THIS IS A PROMISE I WILL NEVER BREAK.

current time - 11:05

im totally beaten..tired..and sick of this kind of treatment..its not the treatment that others give me..but its what i give myself. im so stupid i can barely see my brain in the x-ray. why must i always do this? why must i always stress myself up? why must i always be a loser? i think its time for a change again. at least this time, a more meaningful one..

current time - 11:10

i need to change the way i treat my friends..i know i have not been treating them as well since some time last year..but i just failed to change..it sucks..i know what some of you trying to imply. not that im a bad friend but just that i need to put in more attention to my friends. i need to understand them more, and know when they are feeling troubled. i think this is the least for a person like me to do. yes im a loser in love, so dont come to me when you are seeking for help. i'll just ruin your relationship life, trust me.

current time - 11:13

i know what are the things i need to change, and some ppl may not feel it at all, honestly its only meant for some ppl. (uncle says you are one of them) wonderful things dont come everyday, so just treasure whatever you have now, appreciate them, before you lose all of them. friends are one of it. i restrain myself from some of my friends today. i know its bad, to be 'dao' towards you guys, but im really not in the mood to talk. i know you guys will understand, orelse i wouldnt have been in such a good shape le..i just dont feel like talking at that part of time. even now, while im typing i too dont feel like talking. i feel that i cant really find a right person to talk to, thus i type all my feelings here.

current time - 11:19

its time for another change eh? this time its not that obvious i would say..its just part of a mental change bah..the way i think, the way i treat things, the way i treat ppl. i seriously dont want to disappoint my friends. DONE!

current time - 11:21

i've made up my mind..i'll let you know soon. just slowly looking for the time to talk. it is really important, so i really wish that somehow we can be alone when i say? hope i will not be in the majority by then.......